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For the Record's week in review: The 'do not moan to me' edition

 
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Two Republicans, somewhat alike in dignity, in fair Washington, where we lay our scene. A pair of star-cross'd politicians met in real life, who hope to with their meeting bury their party's strife.

Donald Trump and Paul Ryan met Thursday. It was dramatic. Shakespearan, even. And like two of the Bard's characters of yore, Trump and Ryan pledged their undying devotion (to work together for Republicans this fall).

Here are all the theatrics in today's For the Record, the politics newsletter from USA TODAY.

Trump and Ryan are now seeing each other; Ryan does not DTR

As we previewed yesterday, Trump and Ryan swiped right (though not too far right) and met up to see see if they had any connection.

At stake: The unity of the Republican party, perhaps, should Trump become president and Ryan remain House speaker. The result: It's complicated.

"We're off to a very good start," said Ryan, who added that he and Trump plan on seeing each other again. But Ryan still hasn't formally endorsed Trump, making this whole thing feel more like an arranged marriage.

Over the course of 45 minutes, Trump and Ryan chatted about free trade, immigration, party unity and probably their hobbies. Reince Priebus, dad of the GOP, chaperoned the whole thing (ugh, so embarrassing) but the Republican national chairman issued his approval:

"The meeting was great," Priebus tweeted.  #ProudDad

This is the real life. It's not just fantasy.

We've watched the nation move through the five stages of grief since Trump closed in on the GOP, from denial to anger and bargaining to depression. Now, one step remains: acceptance.

Cue Lindsey Graham, the GOP senator who once likened a Trump nomination to being "shot or poisoned."

Graham spoke with Trump Wednesday, he said, calling the conversation "cordial" and "pleasant." And while Graham congratulated Trump on becoming the face of the GOP, Graham still says he won't vote for him.

Also not endorsing Trump: George H.W. Bush. But Bush's former V.P.? Sure, why not.

Dan Quayle praised Trump on the Today show Thursday, claiming he is more qualified to be president than Hillary Clinton because voters' main qualification is that a candidate not be qualified to be president. Makes sense, actually.

Bernie Sanders' plan for New Jersey: Get a 28-year-old to run for sheriff

With only a narrow path to the nomination (by his words, not ours), Bernie Sanders is still hustling in early states and picking up some primary wins . His real goal: to beef up his delegate count, giving him more sway to shape his party's platform at the Democratic convention this summer.

He looks now to the June 7 primary in New Jersey, a state whose wacky ballot system requires Sanders to get a 28-year-old guy named Alex to run for sheriff. Alex doesn't want to be a sheriff. Alex doesn't think he'll be a sheriff. But such is this convoluted process we call democracy.

More from the campaign trail

George Clooney, who played Batman, feels confident that America won't elect Trump, who thinks he's Batman (USA TODAY)
Hillary Clinton hates Bernie bros, needs Bernie bros (USA TODAY)
Sanders plays well on South Dakota reservation (Argus Leader)
Harry Reid: If Mitch McConnell likes Trump, 'we can only assume he agrees with Trump's view that women are dogs' (USA TODAY)
Former Trump butler said Obama should be shot. Wait. What? (USA TODAY)

Get ready for (one, maybe two?) decades of constant Ted Cruz burns

Memo to Ted Cruz: You may be out of the 2016 race. You may be back to running for Senate. But you'll never be free from the scorn of John Boehner. He's retired, has plenty of free time, and seems committed to publicly insulting you at every opportunity for the rest of his days.




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