| Starting at 9 p.m. EDT tonight, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump will square off in the first presidential debate of this year's general election, held at Hofstra University on Long Island, New York. Which channel is it on? All the channels. Or rather, enough channels that you can't miss it. Here's what you can expect tonight ... |
| Tonight's agenda is six words long, and two of them are the same word |
| Tonight's debate topics, announced last week, are "America's Direction," "Achieving Prosperity" and "Securing America." These would be awful Jeopardy! categories, but they're equally bad for trying to frame a debate. (Go on, think of a topic that wouldn't be covered by one of those categories. We'll wait.) It's like your chewing gum label telling you that it's made from "natural and artificial ingredients." HEY GUM, THAT'S ALL THE POSSIBLE INGREDIENTS. |
| Here are our guesses as to how debate moderator Lester Holt will interpret them: |
| • | Everything sucks. "America's Direction" is probably the vaguest of the three categories. It's the topic of the worst polling question ever -- "Do you think the country is heading in the right direction or the wrong track?" -- and it inevitably shows an overwhelmingly negative number (64.6% say we're on the wrong track). But do respondents think we're heading in the wrong direction because the Affordable Care Act hasn't been repealed, or because the Affordable Care Act doesn't go far enough? Are they upset that we're intervening militarily in the Middle East, or upset that we haven't launched a full-scale ground assault on ISIS? Watch for Trump to pin the dissatisfaction on the Obama administration, and for Clinton to say it's the fault of a do-nothing Congress (12.3% approval). | | • | What's up with the economy? Throw this one under "Achieving Prosperity." Last week, the Fed held steady on the benchmark overnight interest rate, a move that policymakers hope will keep investors borrowing and keep the economy moving, but one that could enable speculation "bubbles" like the one that wrecked the world economy in 2007. Trump called the Fed's move politically motivated, though he also called debate moderator and fellow Republican Lester Holt a Democrat, and was pretty sure that going head-to-head against Monday Night Football was a plot against him, too, so he's been seeing lots of conspiracies lately. Meanwhile, Hillary gets to explain how her policies will be different from those of the previous eight years of Democratic rule in the White House. | | • | Terrorism. If "Securing America" means anything at all, it should cover terrorist attacks, gun politics and other forms of random violence, especially in light of this weekend's shooting that killed five at a mall in Burlington, Washington, just north of Seattle, as well as last weekend's bombing and stabbing incidents in New York, New Jersey and Minnesota. Trump likely will say extreme vetting of immigrants, including a suspension on immigration from countries with a history of terrorism. Clinton likely will say the latest in a string of shooting incidents points to the need for additional gun control measures. | |
| Looking for more about upcoming debates and your best second-screen options tonight? Go read Paul Singer's stellar preview of tonight's festivities. Then check out 5 things Trump needs to do tonight, and 5 things Clinton needs to do tonight. |
| The real challenge: Watch the whole thing sober |
| CLINTON: "In Reagan's judgment, Russia was full of middle-class women. (Cough)." |
| TRUMP: "Excuse me -- China failed bigly, believe me." |
| If that exchange happens during tonight's debate, take 11 drinks. That's according to debatedrinking.com, which zeroes in on six phrases particular to each candidate, plus three community words. Still can't follow? The site promises a live drink-totaling scoreboard ... so technically, you don't have to watch the debate at all. But at that point, you're just letting a website give you cues on when to drink, which is sad on several levels. |
| Other options for drinking games: |
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| If you're playing along, please drink responsibly. And vote responsibly, while you're at it. |
| What happens at Hofstra, stays at Hofstra |
| Can't get through the debate without engaging in several of the traditional vices? Oddsshark.com features prop bets on several aspects of tonight's debate, ranging from Trump's tie color (red) and Clinton's jacket color (blue), to candidates referring to their rivals' spouses (not likely), to whether Trump or Clinton storms off the stage (not likely, but likely to be HILARIOUS if it happens). |
| So wait, is online gambling legal in the U.S.? Let's put it this way: Win a fortune, and then see how it plays out. |
| More from the campaign trail |
| • | Cincinnati Enquirer endorses Democrat for first time in 100 years (Cincinnati Enquirer) | | • | New York Times endorses Democrat for first time in four years (USA TODAY OnPolitics) | | • | Your reminder that the whole world is watching tonight: Asian stocks lower ahead of debate (USA TODAY Money) | | • | Gary Johnson in 2011: The sun will engulf the earth (USA TODAY OnPolitics) | | • | Neil deGrasse Tyson, Sept. 6: The sun will engulf the earth (Twitter) | |
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| Mormon Judy and cow people |
| How did these debates go four years ago? A lot weirder than we remember. |
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